How long will I love you?
by teamalice84
Summary: Bella has just had her world shattered by the one person she thought she could always trust. Now she has to find her way in the world while still being a mother to her two kids. Will she fail or will she find help in an unlikely place?
1. Chapter 1

I do not twilight or any of the characters.

Chapter 1

"Sarah Renee clean up your toys before dinner!"

"No! Not until my daddy gets home!"

It's been the same fight every night for the past week. I yell. She yells. I punish. She cries. I end up cleaning up the toys after she's in bed. Tonight was going to be different. I was not letting her get away with not putting her toys away.

"Put your toys away or no ice cream when grandma gets here."

"I WANT MY DADDY!"

"Sarah this not up for discussion. Toys. Now."

She starts picking up and I feel like I accomplished something with her until I turn my back and a barbie goes wizzing past my head. I turn around to face my mini me with a shocked look on my face.

"That is it, little girl! Go to your room and no ice cream tonight!"

As she stomps off to her room I collapse onto my dinning room chair and let the tears fall. I'm supposed to be their protector, their rock, the one they come to when their world seems like a horrible place but instead they are turning into my rocks. If it wasn't for Sarah and her little brother, Will, I would be curled up in bed crying into a pint of Ben and Jerry's. I finally got up the courage to confide in my parents last night. I mean they were going to find out eventually anyway.

I'll never forget it. I knew things were different after Will was born but I just assumed it was normal. Things always change when you have two kids under the age five or so I thought. It was little changes at first like he'd leave for work early or he'd cancel plans last minute due to work. Then he started visiting Billy more claiming he needed more help. I always hear stories about how women know their husbands are sleeping around because the sex stop or he starts getting sloopy with his affairs. Jacob did neither.

When I think back on the last two years I feel like a complete idiot for not seeing it. When he came home from work Friday I'd set the table and lit candles thinking we could have a nice dinner while my parents watched the kids. I went out and even bought a new dress and some lace lingerie. I could tell something was wrong by the way Jacob looked at me. He had pity in his eyes. Even after he told me about her stupid me still didn't understand he was leaving me. Most men start dating younger women because it makes them feel young or they are having a mid life crisis. Jacob was only twenty four so neither applied to him.

I met Jacob when I was sixteen and moved to Forks, Washington to live with my dad. My dad and his dad were best friends. We start just hanging out as friends but by Thanksgiving we were dating. I didn't care that Jacob was a year younger than me. We were inseparable outside school. We always talked about going to the same college and getting married at twenty-five. We'd have our first son two years after that. Fate had other plans. A few months after my nineteenth birthday and Jacob moving to Seattle with me for college we found out that I was pregnant. We both knew how the gossip mill ran in Forks so we planned a quick wedding and hid the fact that I was pregnant. We were so happy when Sarah was born. Jacob decided it was better if he finished school and I stayed at home Sarah. My mom and step father were paying our bills until we were on our feet. My step father, Phil, even gave Jacob the down payment to open his own garage after he graduated with a business degree from the Udub. When sarah turned one we decided to try for another baby. We didn't know it would happen so soon. By Sarah's second birthday I was already seven months along with our son. I thought finally having a son would make Jacob happy not the opposite.

Now I'm starting my life as a single mother. I never thought in a million years my husband would leave me for a fresh out of high school eighteen year old cheerleader named Vanessa. Kids didn't fit into his new life with Nessie. What was she a fucking sea monster? I hadn't had the heart to tell my kids that daddy wasn't coming home. My mom agreed to fly to Seattle today and help me with the kids and to explain all of this them. I don't know how much they would understand but I couldn't have this fight every night with my daughter. In my daughter's eyes I was going to be the bad guy.

"Bella? Baby, I'm here." I look up as my walks through the door. It does take long for her to notice I've been crying. "Oh sweetheart."

She takes me in her arms and for the first time all week I feel safe again.

"I can't do this mom. The only job I've ever had was at Newton's during high school. I'll never be able to make enough money to support myself and the kids. We'll have to move because I can afford the mortgage on the house. Then there's the utilities. Not to mention food for the kids."

"Bella, breathe. You know Phil and I will help until you can support yourself."

"Mom, I can't keep relying on you and Phil. I need to take of us myself."

"Isabella Marie stop being so stubborn. We want to help. We helped that asshole start his business and get this house. We aren't about to abandon our daughter when she needs us that most."

I put on a happy face when heard my son come running down the stairs. "Will, mommy has told you more than once down run down the stairs. You could fall and get hurt."

"I heard gamma."

"This can't possibly be my little Will. You've grown a whole two inches since Christmas."

"They both are growing like weeds."

"Where is Sarah? I thought for sure she'd be waiting by the door for me."

"In her room again. She wants J-A-C-O-B and refuses to listen to me until he's here."

"Will, why don't you help your mommy with dinner while I go get your sister?"

"Ok."

"How about we make your favorite?"

"Getti!"

I took Will in the kitchen to help finish dinner while my mom when upstairs to talk to Sarah. I don't what my mom said to her but twenty minutes later both of them came down smiling. My mother has always been a miracle worker with my kids. When Sarah had colic my mom flew up here to stay a few days to help which then turned into two weeks. At the end of that two weeks though my daughter wasn't crying all the time. When I caught flu a few months after Will was born it was mom to the rescue again. I think she feels she needs to make up for what she thinks is a shitty childhood. I think it was awesome. All my friends were jealous of all the trips we took. By the time I moved in with my dad, Charlie, I had been to all fifty states not to mention Puerto Rico when my mom married Phil.

I put dinner on the table and prepared for the worse conversation I'd ever have to have with my children.

"How would you guys feel about visiting grandpa Charlie next weekend?"

"Can we see grandpa Billy too?"

"I don't know. We'll have to see how he's feeling." What I really meant was we'd have to make sure Jacob and his cheerleader weren't there.

"Mommy when is daddy coming home?"

Just breathe Bella. "He's not. Daddy has decided to move closer to grandpa Billy."

"We're moving?"

"No Sarah. Daddy doesn't want us to come. He has a new friend and she doesn't want to share him with us anymore."

I look at my very confused children and my heart breaks for them. How could someone not want them? I look across the table at my son's tear stained face and know I have to put on my big girl panties and be the mom they need right now.

"Mommy does daddy still love us?"

I pull my daughter into me and hold her trying to figure how he could not love them.

"He'll always love you even if he isn't around. He's still your daddy."

"Mommy if I clean up my toys can I still have ice cream."

"Yes, princess."

After the toys were put away and dishes were washes my mom took the kids for ice cream. I went over to the book shelf and took out our wedding album. We looked so happy. We had the biggest smiles on our face. What happened to that couple? Had we really changed that much in the last five years? After a few minutes it made me so angry. He was mine for almost nine years. What did she have that I didn't have? I mean I was a size four anymore but I was by no means overweight. My breasts weren't small if anything having two kids has made them bigger. He never complained about sex being bad and he loved my cooking. I went over everything I could think of and came up with nothing.

That was the first night I woke up crying and screaming for Jake.


	2. Chapter 2

Sorry this isn't a chapter. I dropped my phone the last week in March and haven't got a new one. I don't have a laptop so as soon as I get a new phone I'll have new chapters up. Sorry. Thanks for understanding.

TA


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